i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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