I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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