I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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