i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
