I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
