i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
