is your mom at the bar?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize