yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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