If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
