If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
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