Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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