you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
