Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
