its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
