TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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