Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
