Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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