Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize