Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
