he wants to bone in the snuggie
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
