everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize