1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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