guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Someone signed my nipple.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
