maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
