I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
