That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
are you so shy because you have an std?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
