Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
