Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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