Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I think my moral compass just broke
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
