If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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