On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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