God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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