Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
