I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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