I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize