He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
