And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
So here I am, sexting at work.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
