My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
