You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
