So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
