sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
