Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
