look no pants
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
This is my gift to your gina
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
