so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
