i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
