I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
