I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
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