Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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