True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
