wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
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