if i died would you start the facebook group?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She bit a glass in half.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
