I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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