I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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