So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
